And by the way. I suck at catching cabs.
12.10.2005
Stumped. Seriously, how does one respond to something like this? Flattery on a grand scale. >>read entry Dec. 6th 2005<<
When all the boys left my house Saturday morning, I went into a silence. You know the business. I ate alone, walked alone, shopped alone, read alone, sipped warm beverages alone, reclined alone. It was some good time spent. I finally got to sit with my notebook, cafe style, which was nice cuz I haven't really been able to put pen to paper in a while. I spent five minutes circling a blank page. That's how it starts I guess.
11.24.2005
Turkey. Mash potatoes. Gravy. Rosemary garlic yams. Green beans. Macaroni and cheese. Spoonbread. Walnut stuffing. Biscuits. Cranberry sauce. Apple cider. Pumpkin cheese cake. Coffee.
8.25.2005
Tonight I attempted to make my mom's/ grandfather's beef daube. It's basically an old French country beef stew. I can't count how many times I've eaten it in my life. It wasn't ever a big favorite of mine, but these past few days I had the most intense craving for it. I called my mom for her recipe (if you can even call it that). Getting the instructions from her can be difficult. She has no sense of measurement and no sense of time. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. She can just smell when it's done. My rendition didn't quite come out like how I remebered hers or my grandfather's to be. Mine looked kind of greyish purplely. I remember deep orangey brown. I called my mom with my concern for color.
"Mom, my stew looks purplely grey."
"It's just the wine."
"Yours doesn't look like that."
"It's ok Cat-tee."
"Mom! It's grey!"
And like a dear mom, looking at her child's unshapely painting of an unidentified animal, she says to me:
"Grey is a nice color."
7.28.2005
Congrats to Jackie Moe, the OPC crew, and our beloved Edinburgh Castle for making the best in the bay.
Best Nightspot for Movie-Making Maniacs.
Movie making maniac? Moi?
>> read the blurb <<
7.19.2005
Mr. Richard Catalano. This man comes into the store. He comes around bi-monthly. His aid drives him. They usually pull up to the corner and she gets out his walker and helps him into the store. His posture is poor and he gives you a sideways kind of look when he talks to you. He moves at about two miles an hour but never has the patience to take longer than five minutes in the store to make his purchases. He tells you what he wants and then you go get it. No dilly dallies. If there's parking the girl will accompany him into the store. I kind of fancy her. Daniella. He addresses her as his friend. "Give her all the samples," he says. If you meet him in a brief moment, chances are you'll call him a grumpy old man after your encounter. In fact, the first time I helped him was my first time using the cash register. I was in tears when he left. Since then I've learned to yell into his good ear, not to take his tone of voice personally, and to shower the girl with samples. Today he bought his favorite lotion and washes. Cucumber and grapefruit.
While I'm ringing him up he asked, "Do you have a store in Paris?"
"Yes, sir we do." I wait for him to pull his wallet out. It's a bi-fold made of bright orange leather. Rather cheerful I thought.
"Do you have a store in London?" He opens his wallet and points to his American Express card for me to pull out. He's not so great with his hands.
"Yes, in London as well." In his classic sideways look he says, "Don't you think you should be working there? Not here?"
I bagged his purchases and threw in the samples for Daniella as the wind blew through me.
07.18.2005
It's happening again. It's late again. I try to keep it simple. Nothing ever stays as easy as I had planned it. One edit becomes two which then leads to a whole other idea. Which reminds me of this thing I always wanted to try. And if I could get so and so to help me then I could do this as well. Oh this will be fantastic. Jose's going to kill me though. We'll have to buy things. He hates it when we have to buy things. I'll make a prayer. It's getting late. I have to sleep. If I don't sleep I won't perform well at my jobs. If I don't perform well I won't have the money to even start. I have to go to bed and make my prayers. I'll pray we find all our needs at the first thrift store we hit.
07.15.2005
I can't stop not sleeping. Tonight I lied to my mom.
"Do you sleep eight hours every night?"
"Yes!" Lie.
"Then why are you still sick?"
"I'm not. It's allergies." Half a lie.
It's too many problems to solve. It's too many numbers to crunch. It's too many names to come up with. It's the phobia of losing it if I don't write it down. It's prolonging the time I don't have to be clocked in. It's baking the cake and eating it too.
07.02.2005
A conversation between me and Jose:
"Jose, how do we come up with lots of money fast?"
"Go sell your ass."
"Gross."
"Ok, go sell han djob s."
"What do ha ndj obs go for?"
"Fifty, sixty bucks."
"Dude, that's all?"
"Hey, that's a lot for ten minutes."
"Man, I'll need a line around the block. Who the fck is going to line up to get a han d jo b from me?"
"Oh there's tons! Put your picture on the internet. $50--Ha ndj ob with release!"
Per Jose's advice:
07.01.2005
I haven't been able to taste my food for 25 days now. There is no smell either. My left side is the worse. My eye squeaks constantly, my nose drips without anything to blow, and my mouth is dry from trying to breathe. I have a fear that I smell bad so I shower constantly. And due to the fear that my apartment might smell bad and I wouldn't be able to tell, I've finally given up and gone to see a doctor. I'm taking Zithromax which gives me really bad guts and keeps me from taking a taxi cab anywhere because I will surely throw up. Hopefully soon I will come to my senses.
06.27.2005
Left handed surgeries. A prideful moment.
Late Saturday night, early Sunday morning I was performing minor surgeries on my right hand. Tried to sober up my left side so that it could dig with xacto knife in hand, the itty bitty pieces of beer bottle brown glass out of my right hand. The things you will do to impress a girl and where they will get you. Bloody fcking mess.
05.17.2005
Spent the day with my Auntie scootering around town. All I could hear was her yelling, "I'm a grandma on a scooter!"
04.01.2005
cathead3: jose and i broke up
electric_heart26: what?
cathead3: it's over
cathead3: llastnight we broke up
cathead3: i've also decided what was best for me
cathead3: so i'm no longer an art fag
cathead3: i'm not doing nanymore senseless moneyless art
cathead3: and i'm no longer GAY!
cathead3: i'm browsing myspace now for my nouveau boyfriend
cathead3: i got really drunk last night (also the last time i'll ever be drinking) and came to these realizations
cathead3: i think it's best for me and i think i need to put it all into effect before i'm thirty
electric_heart26: wow.
electric_heart26: hmm...cathy.
cathead3: yes?
electric_heart26: i have a 1 pm deadline. i REALLY want to talk about all this but can't at the moment
electric_heart26: log back in after one!
cathead3: that's cool
electric_heart26: lets talk
cathead3: i really wanted to just say goodbye
cathead3: no offense but you're totally tied up with the whole mess
cathead3: it's not personal
cathead3: i just
cathead3: i just have to do this
cathead3: i'm going nowhere fast
electric_heart26: omg, cathy.
cathead3: and i've jsut realized jose has just been my vehicle
electric_heart26: ok. but, honestly, id like to talk in person. on the phone. later. now is not a good time for me.
cathead3: ok
cathead3: just one more thing......
cathead3: H A P P Y AP RI L F O OLS !!!!
cathead3: talk to you at one
cathead3: ;)
electric_heart26: you suck
cathead3: :X
cathead3: sorry
cathead3: i love you
cathead3: i was good huh?
cathead3: ok go work
cathead3: fast fast fast
Yahoo! Messenger: electric_heart26 has signed out
cathead3: i do have to tell you about my crazy night last night
Yahoo! Messenger: electric_heart26 has signed back in
cathead3: i came home and got drunk and took a bunch of stupid wild self portraits of myself
cathead3: i'll tell you at 1
electric_heart26: yay!
cathead3: better yet maybe i'll have the guts to show you
cathead3: work!
cathead3: bye
cathead3: xoxoxoxoxoxoc
02.17.2005
I just got off the telephone with my mom. She called to ask me how to fix the karaoke machine so my grandma could sing. It makes her happy. I don't know anything about karaoke. My mom told me I should make videos for karaoke. I could make alot of money especially if I do one for a popular song. I don't know Vietnamese songs at all though. Mom said I just have to go and take some nice nature shots. Something scenic.
01.06.2005
I spent just under $200 at Ikea today. Of all the things I purchased, I have to say the favorites are the 56 wooden hangers. $3.49 for 8 pieces. I have successfully purged my closet of wire and plastic.
01.01.2005
Here's to a clean slate. Cheers!