i'm sick today. i was sick yesterday, coughing all day and all night. i sat, lay, and stood on my bed. like i was on a tiny deserted island, looking out to sea. my byrd would send bowls of ramen and juice my way on a raft. the worst part about being on the island is that i couldn't get away from the thoughts and the stress that made me sick in the first place. i've become incredibly heated and passionately jaded. and perhaps i'm sick to slow me down from tearing down the wrong path. but i sat on those thoughts like sands on the beach. and to forget about it all i went to sleep over and over again. and then i was too hot to sleep. so i waited for the next raft with juice. my byrd put on a movie for me. the night before we rented films. at the video store i saw a table full of movies on sale for cheap. there was a tower of almodovar's "all about my mother." i don't know if this made me happy or sad to see it on sale. to make me happy, i bought three. i watched "all about my mother," three times in a row. and then i couldn't think of anything else, but getting better and off the tiny island.